Donair and Ghandi's Words both Brought me Peace
Honey, Look at Your Face
What a little Jewish hairdresser named Donair taught me about trusting God.
Many years ago, someone told me about an amazing hair stylist — a little Jewish woman named Donair. I’ll never forget our first appointment. I sat down expecting a haircut. What I got instead was a lesson about trusting God and His will.
Donair sat me down, tucked the cape around me, spun the chair toward the mirror, and studied my reflection right alongside me. Then she did something I never saw coming.
This cute, grey-haired, plump little woman crouched down beside me, looked closely at my face, and said — loudly, in that wonderful accent of hers — “HONEY, HONEY, HONEY! LOOK AT YOUR FACE!” She was clearly upset about what I’d been doing to my skin. Then she said the part I’ve carried with me ever since: “You do not trust God! Look at your face!” A moment later she softened, tried to comfort me — “You are absolutely beautiful” — and then almost whispered, “You do not know God.”
“The LORD Almighty has sworn, ‘Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand.’” — Isaiah 14:24
She was right. Every appointment after that came with beautiful life lessons, and she always said the same thing at the end: “Never divorce me” — her way of telling me to keep coming back. But it’s that first meeting I’ll never forget.
Why my face looked the way it did
At the time, I had just ended a relationship with someone I’d been close to for years. It was a hard season. I was trying to work part-time and go to school full-time — the same load I’d carried before my mission — but for some reason I just couldn’t handle it anymore, and I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t think clearly or communicate the way I used to. I’d gained weight. My face looked puffy.
What I didn’t know then — and wouldn’t learn for another two years — was that my body had developed an intolerance to gluten. So some of what showed up on my skin really was my body reacting to the food I was eating. But Donair was right about the other part too. I was not trusting God with everything happening in my life.
Two years of unanswered prayers
I love the Garth Brooks song “Unanswered Prayers.” Sometimes the things happening in our lives are genuinely frightening, and it’s only later that we understand why the door we were pounding on stayed shut.
I spent two years going from doctor to doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me. The first diagnosis was depression. Then fibromyalgia. Then Epstein-Barr. Then chronic fatigue. Eventually I landed on a waiting list to see a multiple sclerosis specialist — and that was the one I was truly afraid of. So I prayed hard, studied harder, and, by grace, found answers that changed my life. Slowly, my symptoms began to lift.
Somewhere in those early days of declining health, a priesthood leader gave me a blessing and told me that one day I would “share my message with the world.” I had no idea then what I know now, but those words have never stopped giving me peace and strength as I keep learning about health and vitality.
There are still days when I get discouraged — when I wonder whether any of this is making a difference for anyone. On those days I go back to Donair’s words: have faith, and trust God. I love you, Donair. I miss you. I could use some of your beautiful words of wisdom right about now.
Be the example first
There’s a story about Gandhi I think about often. A mother once brought her son to him and asked him to tell the boy to stop eating sugar. Gandhi told her to go away and come back in a month. When she returned, he simply looked at the boy and said, “Don’t eat sugar.” The mother asked why he couldn’t have said that a month earlier. Because, he explained, a month earlier he had still been eating sugar himself — and the boy wouldn’t have believed him. So he spent the month giving it up first. Then his words meant something.
"Be the change that you want to see in the world." — Mahatma Gandhi
That’s the part I keep coming back to. It’s easy to complain about the drive-through and then pull into it anyway. It takes real forethought to keep whole, nourishing food in the house, to have good alternatives ready for my kids, to survive holidays and birthdays with a food assignment in hand. But if I want a healthier world, I have to live it before I preach it.
Choosing real food, on purpose
For me, that means leaning toward whole, real, organic food as much as I’m able — and putting my grocery dollars behind the growers, the sellers, and the farmers markets who are doing it the honest way. I want to know what’s in what I feed my family. That’s not fear; it’s stewardship. It’s reading the label, asking questions, and voting with my cart.
I’ll be honest: I have opinions about genetically modified food, and I choose to avoid it where I can. The good news is that it’s gotten easier to make an informed choice. Whole industries have grown up around clear labeling — certifications like USDA Organic and Non-GMO Project Verified — and in the United States, foods made with genetically engineered ingredients now carry a “bioengineered” disclosure by law. It’s not a perfect system, but knowing what’s in our food is the first step toward choosing well, and we have more information today than we did when I first started paying attention.
A quick, humbling story: we were once fined a few hundred dollars at the New Zealand border because we’d forgotten about some vegetables we’d packed. Embarrassing — and yet I was glad. I love that New Zealand guards its beautiful land so carefully. It reminded me that being a careful steward of what we grow, ship, and eat is worth taking seriously, wherever we live.
I’m not going to fix the whole food system by dinnertime. But I can set my own table well, feed my family real food, support the people growing it, and be the example instead of just the critic. Small drops, over and over, until they add up.
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." — Mahatma Gandhi
Donair saw something in my face before I could name it myself. It took years, a lot of doctors, and a lot of prayer for me to understand what she meant. But she was right: the healing I was looking for started the day I decided to trust God — with my health, my table, and everything I can’t control.
With love,
— Steffanie
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now.
Mahatma Gandhi
What a little Jewish hairdresser named Donair taught me about trusting God.
Many years ago, someone told me about an amazing hair stylist — a little Jewish woman named Donair. I’ll never forget our first appointment. I sat down expecting a haircut. What I got instead was a lesson about trusting God and His will.
Donair sat me down, tucked the cape around me, spun the chair toward the mirror, and studied my reflection right alongside me. Then she did something I never saw coming.
This cute, grey-haired, plump little woman crouched down beside me, looked closely at my face, and said — loudly, in that wonderful accent of hers — “HONEY, HONEY, HONEY! LOOK AT YOUR FACE!” She was clearly upset about what I’d been doing to my skin. Then she said the part I’ve carried with me ever since: “You do not trust God! Look at your face!” A moment later she softened, tried to comfort me — “You are absolutely beautiful” — and then almost whispered, “You do not know God.”
“The LORD Almighty has sworn, ‘Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand.’” — Isaiah 14:24
She was right. Every appointment after that came with beautiful life lessons, and she always said the same thing at the end: “Never divorce me” — her way of telling me to keep coming back. But it’s that first meeting I’ll never forget.
Why my face looked the way it did
At the time, I had just ended a relationship with someone I’d been close to for years. It was a hard season. I was trying to work part-time and go to school full-time — the same load I’d carried before my mission — but for some reason I just couldn’t handle it anymore, and I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t think clearly or communicate the way I used to. I’d gained weight. My face looked puffy.
What I didn’t know then — and wouldn’t learn for another two years — was that my body had developed an intolerance to gluten. So some of what showed up on my skin really was my body reacting to the food I was eating. But Donair was right about the other part too. I was not trusting God with everything happening in my life.
Two years of unanswered prayers
I love the Garth Brooks song “Unanswered Prayers.” Sometimes the things happening in our lives are genuinely frightening, and it’s only later that we understand why the door we were pounding on stayed shut.
I spent two years going from doctor to doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me. The first diagnosis was depression. Then fibromyalgia. Then Epstein-Barr. Then chronic fatigue. Eventually I landed on a waiting list to see a multiple sclerosis specialist — and that was the one I was truly afraid of. So I prayed hard, studied harder, and, by grace, found answers that changed my life. Slowly, my symptoms began to lift.
Somewhere in those early days of declining health, a priesthood leader gave me a blessing and told me that one day I would “share my message with the world.” I had no idea then what I know now, but those words have never stopped giving me peace and strength as I keep learning about health and vitality.
There are still days when I get discouraged — when I wonder whether any of this is making a difference for anyone. On those days I go back to Donair’s words: have faith, and trust God. I love you, Donair. I miss you. I could use some of your beautiful words of wisdom right about now.
Be the example first
There’s a story about Gandhi I think about often. A mother once brought her son to him and asked him to tell the boy to stop eating sugar. Gandhi told her to go away and come back in a month. When she returned, he simply looked at the boy and said, “Don’t eat sugar.” The mother asked why he couldn’t have said that a month earlier. Because, he explained, a month earlier he had still been eating sugar himself — and the boy wouldn’t have believed him. So he spent the month giving it up first. Then his words meant something.
"Be the change that you want to see in the world." — Mahatma Gandhi
That’s the part I keep coming back to. It’s easy to complain about the drive-through and then pull into it anyway. It takes real forethought to keep whole, nourishing food in the house, to have good alternatives ready for my kids, to survive holidays and birthdays with a food assignment in hand. But if I want a healthier world, I have to live it before I preach it.
Choosing real food, on purpose
For me, that means leaning toward whole, real, organic food as much as I’m able — and putting my grocery dollars behind the growers, the sellers, and the farmers markets who are doing it the honest way. I want to know what’s in what I feed my family. That’s not fear; it’s stewardship. It’s reading the label, asking questions, and voting with my cart.
I’ll be honest: I have opinions about genetically modified food, and I choose to avoid it where I can. The good news is that it’s gotten easier to make an informed choice. Whole industries have grown up around clear labeling — certifications like USDA Organic and Non-GMO Project Verified — and in the United States, foods made with genetically engineered ingredients now carry a “bioengineered” disclosure by law. It’s not a perfect system, but knowing what’s in our food is the first step toward choosing well, and we have more information today than we did when I first started paying attention.
A quick, humbling story: we were once fined a few hundred dollars at the New Zealand border because we’d forgotten about some vegetables we’d packed. Embarrassing — and yet I was glad. I love that New Zealand guards its beautiful land so carefully. It reminded me that being a careful steward of what we grow, ship, and eat is worth taking seriously, wherever we live.
I’m not going to fix the whole food system by dinnertime. But I can set my own table well, feed my family real food, support the people growing it, and be the example instead of just the critic. Small drops, over and over, until they add up.
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." — Mahatma Gandhi
Donair saw something in my face before I could name it myself. It took years, a lot of doctors, and a lot of prayer for me to understand what she meant. But she was right: the healing I was looking for started the day I decided to trust God — with my health, my table, and everything I can’t control.
With love,
— Steffanie
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now.
Mahatma Gandhi
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