FAT Is Now My Friend

Making Peace With Fat

A real-food look at omega-3s — and why good fat is a friend, not a foe

For most of my life, I was told fat was the enemy. Low-fat this, fat-free that. So it took me years — and a lot of reading — to unlearn that fear and discover something better: our bodies were designed to run beautifully on real, whole fats. The trick isn’t avoiding fat. It’s choosing the right fats, and making sure we get enough of the one most of us are missing.

This isn’t a fear post, and it isn’t a numbers post. It’s an invitation to understand your fats a little better, so you can nourish your body out of gratitude instead of anxiety.

Meet the three omegas

You’ve probably seen omega-3, omega-6, and omega-9 on labels. Here’s the friendly version of what they are and where to find them.

Omega-3 — the one most of us need more of

These are the fats our modern diets tend to fall short on, and the ones I’ve spent years trying to get more of. The most potent forms (EPA and DHA) come from the sea; the plant form (ALA) has to be converted by the body, and only a little of it makes the trip — which is why fish and algae matter so much.

From the sea (EPA & DHA): salmon, sardines, mackerel, herring, anchovies, oysters, fish oil, and algae oil (a lovely plant-based option)

From plants (ALA): flaxseed and flax oil, chia seeds, hemp seeds, walnuts, and pastured or grass-fed meat and eggs

Omega-6 — essential, and not the villain it’s made out to be

For years I believed omega-6 fats were simply “bad.” I’ve since learned that’s not the whole story — more on that in a moment. Omega-6 is an essential fat; we need it. It’s just that it’s everywhere in the modern diet, mostly from heavily processed oils, while omega-3 is scarce.

Processed oils: soybean, corn, sunflower, safflower, cottonseed, and grapeseed oil (and the packaged and fried foods made with them)

Whole foods: most nuts and seeds — sunflower and pumpkin seeds, pine nuts, walnuts — plus poultry and eggs

Omega-9 — the one your body can make

Omega-9 (oleic acid) is a monounsaturated fat, and unlike the others, your body can produce it on its own. It’s the backbone of the Mediterranean way of eating, and it’s where my beloved olive oil lives.

Rich sources: olive oil, avocado and avocado oil, macadamia nuts, almonds, pecans, cashews, and hazelnuts

The truth about inflammation

Here’s where the omega story gets interesting — and where I have to gently correct something I used to repeat.

Not all inflammation is bad. In fact, the acute inflammatory response is one of the most brilliant things your body does. Roll your ankle, and within minutes the area swells, warms, and throbs. That’s not your body malfunctioning — it’s your body rushing help to the scene, sealing off the injury and flooding it with the cells and signals needed to heal. Short-term inflammation like this is protective and good. We want it.

The problem is chronic inflammation — the low, smoldering kind that never fully switches off, and that’s been linked to so many of our modern ailments. That’s the fire we want to keep from burning day and night.

So where do the omegas fit? Both omega-3 and omega-6 are the raw material your body uses to build tiny signaling molecules that turn inflammation up and down. Omega-3s, in particular, give rise to a remarkable family of compounds — scientists call them specialized pro-resolving mediators, with names like resolvins — whose whole job is to help calm and resolve inflammation once its work is done.

I used to say that too much omega-6 causes chronic inflammation. When I went looking at the actual research, that turns out not to be true — in careful human studies, whole-food omega-6 doesn’t raise the standard markers of inflammation, and it’s even linked to better heart health. The real issue isn’t that omega-6 is poison. It’s that omega-6 and omega-3 rely on the same machinery in the body, so when our diets are drowning in processed omega-6 oils and starving for omega-3, the balance tips. The fix isn’t to fear omega-6. It’s to get enough omega-3 and lean on whole foods instead of processed oils. That’s a message I can stand behind with a clear conscience.

My own journey with fat quality

Once I understood all this, I became a bit obsessed — in a good way — with the quality of the fats coming into my home. Olive oil especially. I hunted down the good stuff through buying clubs, ordered it straight from Chile, straight from Jerusalem, and signed up to receive it from Oliveda. If it was pure, fresh, and honest olive oil, I wanted it on my table.

But for all my olive oil, I eventually realized I still wasn’t getting nearly enough omega-3. My fats were out of balance — heavy on the omega-6 and omega-9, light on the omega-3 my body was quietly craving.

Testing, and finding balance

What finally opened my eyes was an actual test of my fatty-acid balance. My omega-6 to omega-3 ratio came back around 9 to 1 — a lot more omega-6 than omega-3. Seeing it in black and white was the nudge I needed.

These days I take an omega supplement that pairs fish oil with olive oil (the olive oil helps protect those delicate omega-3s from going rancid), and I’ve worked to bring my balance into a healthier range. I’ve been so encouraged by how I feel that I’ve shared it with the people I love most — my husband, my kids, my mom, my brother — and gently encouraged them to check their own balance too. (This is simply my personal experience; it isn’t medical advice, and I always encourage folks to work with their own doctor.)

What omega-3 can do for you

I don’t believe in miracle nutrients, but omega-3s come about as close as real food gets. The evidence is strongest for the heart and the brain, and for their gentle role in calming the kind of chronic inflammation we talked about above. Many people — myself included — also feel they see it in their skin and hair, that lovely lit-from-within look that comes from a body that’s well nourished. What I can tell you for certain is this: getting my fats in better balance made me feel more like myself.

So please, don’t be afraid of fat. Choose real, whole, beautiful fats. Get plenty of omega-3. Lean into olive oil and avocados and a good piece of wild fish. And do it the way I hope you do everything at your table — with gratitude, not fear.

With love,

Steffi

A note on transparency: I’m an independent partner with the omega company I mention here, which means I may earn a commission if you choose to order through me. I only ever share what I genuinely use and believe in. — These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This post shares my personal experience and is for educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Please talk with a qualified healthcare provider before starting any supplement or making changes to your diet, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, or managing a health condition.