Gluten and Behavioral Issues

Food, Behavior, and a Parenting Teacher I Trust

On Nicholeen Peck, hard days with children, and the honest connection between what we eat and how we feel.

If you are raising children, I want to point you toward someone I admire: Nicholeen Peck, the parenting educator behind Teaching Self-Government and the book Parenting: A House United. She spent years fostering some of the hardest-to-reach children, and she teaches parents how to help kids learn to govern their own behavior with calm and consistency instead of yelling and power struggles.

Here is a small piece of history that still makes me smile: years ago, Nicholeen pointed her own readers to this little blog of mine. So it’s a joy to send you her way now and return the favor.

The question she raised

In one of her articles, Nicholeen made a point that stayed with me. She said that even when parents do the structure and the communication work well, some children stay anxious or angry anyway. And in her experience, part of what those children needed was a change in their nutrition. She’s careful to say she isn’t a dietitian. She has simply noticed, across many families, that food affects how children feel and behave.

I believe her, because I’ve lived it. When I eat certain things, I can feel my mood and my clarity shift. That’s not my imagination. Food isn’t only fuel; it’s information for the body and the brain. For a child whose system is sensitive, what’s on the plate can be part of what shows up in the behavior.

Where I’d start, if it were my child

For most kids, the gentlest and most useful place to begin isn’t a dramatic overhaul. It’s the basics: less sugar and heavily processed food, and more whole food in its place, real meals with vegetables, fruit, protein, and enough water. A lot of children, and a lot of adults, feel steadier that way, with more even energy and fewer hard crashes. That change alone is worth making, and it’s safe for everyone.

One thing I want to be very clear about. If your child takes medication for their mood, attention, or behavior, please don’t change or stop it on your own. Good nutrition can be a supportive part of the picture, but it works alongside your child’s doctor, never instead of them. Bring your questions to the people who know your child’s health, and make any changes together.

What about gluten, or other foods?

You may have heard of families removing gluten or dairy, including some parents of autistic children, and finding that their child seemed calmer or more focused. Some really do notice a difference, especially when there are tummy troubles alongside the behavior. I’d be honest with you, though: the research on this is genuinely mixed, and there’s no settled proof that gluten affects everyone’s mood or focus. Restrictive diets can also leave a growing child short on nutrients if they aren’t done thoughtfully.

So if you want to explore whether a food is affecting your child, the wise path isn’t to start pulling things out of the cupboard on your own. It’s to work with a pediatrician or a registered dietitian who can help you test it carefully, watch for real changes, and keep your child well-nourished the whole way through. That’s true for gluten, dairy, corn, soy, or anything else you might wonder about.

Food is one piece, not the whole thing

None of this replaces good parenting, and I think Nicholeen would be the first to say so. Her work is about teaching children to govern themselves, and that’s the heart of it. The food question is simply one more piece that some families find helpful once the structure and the love are already in place.

If your child is struggling and you feel like you’ve been doing everything right, it may be worth asking, gently and together with your doctor: could food be part of the picture too? Sometimes it is. And sometimes that one question is what helps the rest finally come together.

If Nicholeen’s approach speaks to you, her book Parenting: A House United and her work at teachingselfgovernment.com are the best place to learn it in her own words.

A note from me: I’m a mom sharing what I’ve learned and lived, not a doctor or a dietitian. Please take this as encouragement to ask good questions and to lean on the people who care for your child’s health, not as medical advice.

With love,

— Steffanie