Spiritual Hernia

The Master Physician

Some tears have to be mended before anything else can heal. This is the story of two of mine — one in my body, and one in my soul.

The results came back positive. Lyme disease — “the great mimicker” of so many other conditions, many of which I’d already been diagnosed with over the years.

The facial paralysis I experienced on my way to Mexico — the palsy Lyme can cause. The stretch when I couldn’t speak English. The time I couldn’t write. As I understand it now, all of it traced back to Lyme.

Of all the people I’d walked alongside as a health coach, the words I most dreaded hearing were, “I have chronic Lyme disease.” My heart still sinks when I think of one woman I know who has carried it — married, a mother, fighting a heavy, exhausting battle every single day. She had searched so hard for answers, and she and I were on the same road when it came to eating real, whole foods. I had chances to teach her about fermenting foods, digestive enzymes, probiotics, whole-food supplementation, essential oils, cleansing, and my own story of healing — but never in a million years did I imagine we were facing the same thing. I always seemed so much healthier than she was. How could I possibly have Lyme?

The Hernia No One Had Caught

Fast-forward a few years, and I found my health unraveling. I took my blog down for over a year while I searched for answers. Eventually I was led to a doctor in Mexico who discovered a hernia he called the worst he’d seen in his entire thirty years of practice.

It was acting like a vacuum above my stomach, pulling bile that was meant to go to my intestines back up into my stomach instead — which made digesting food tremendously hard. When he showed me the video of the endoscopy, my stomach looked like a bag that had been punctured all over, with a steady stream of blood weeping in. He pointed out scar tissue he said was at least ten years old. Again and again, he told me he couldn’t understand how I didn’t have cancer — most hernias like mine, he said, lead to stomach or intestinal cancer. For a case as severe as the worst he’d ever seen, all he could say was, “Gracias a Dios.” Thanks be to God.

As you read through this blog, you’ll see how I had always leaned on real foods, whole herbs, essential oils, exercise, and pure water to care for my body. But with the hernia quietly at work, I reached a place where I couldn’t get well, no matter what I knew or how faithfully I did it. Some things a body simply cannot heal until the tear itself is repaired — and for that, I needed a surgeon.

The Spiritual Tear

Last month, sitting in church during our fast and testimony meeting, I felt strongly that I needed to go to the front and share my testimony of the Savior. I knew the Holy Spirit was prompting me toward something, though I didn’t yet know what. Full of faith and short on a plan, after a long pause I finally found the courage to stand — and then it was just a matter of making my way to the microphone.

I spoke about my last attempt to save my life, and how going to Mexico had felt like an answer to prayer. I explained how the hernia had kept my body from absorbing the nutrition it needed, so my health suffered. And then a thought came, and I followed it — a thought about the Savior, and the healing He does for our spiritual wounds.

So often, we’re doing everything we can to be spiritually well — reading the scriptures, praying, attending church and the temple, serving others — and yet we may carry a spiritual tear, a wound that has to be healed before we can truly absorb all that good spiritual food we’re taking in.

Only the Master Physician can mend our spiritual tears.

Once the hurt has been healed by the Savior — only then can we really take in the nourishment of spiritual food, and feel the peace, the joy, and the comfort it’s meant to bring.

Learning to Eat Again

Once the physical tear was repaired, it still took time before I could eat and drink normally. At first it was teaspoons of water, food chewed slowly and thoroughly, only a few things my body could tolerate. But little by little, over about six months, I’ve reached a point where I can eat fairly normally again, and my digestion has improved tremendously. It’s a comfort to feel myself growing stronger, better able to keep fighting the things that took hold while I was so vulnerable for so long.

Every tear — every hernia — is unique to the person. Sometimes the Savior’s healing comes quickly; sometimes, because of how deep the damage runs, it takes longer. But the healing balm of God is offered to every one of us.

Cells at War

Last year, while preparing a talk for a University's Neutraceutical Conference, I was so sick I called the Dr, who had invited me, and told him I no longer had my coaching website or business, and offered to be taken off the speaker list. He said he understood, that he’d be praying for me — and that he still wanted me to speak. It was hard to research when my brain felt like it was “swirling in toxins,” but I kept going, because I sensed God had given me the topic, “Cellular Metabolism — Side Effects and Solutions,” perhaps because I needed the information.

The deeper I went, the more I found researchers describing how our inner state affects our cells’ ability to absorb nutrients. One author compared it to a country at war, where the roads close and food can’t get through. Under stress, it’s as though our cells shut their doors — and even with nourishment right there, they won’t open until the danger passes. No wonder ongoing stress can leave us so depleted; a weak, undernourished cell is a vulnerable one. The pain we hold onto creates stress in our bodies. So we keep working to release the heaviness around us and to surround ourselves with what heals, uplifts, and protects.

The thoughts we think, the company we keep, the beliefs we tell ourselves — they all shape our wellbeing.

Welcome to the Shack

Welcome to Celiac Shack. It’s become more than a place about going naturally gluten-free. It’s become a place where I share my journey, in the hope that something here helps you — whatever you’re facing. When I was reading about Lyme, one doctor noted that many people do better on their treatment protocols when they’re also free of sugar, gluten, and dairy. (I’m a raw-milk advocate — I don’t buy the homogenized, pasteurized dairy from the store — but I do try to stay naturally gluten-free, steer clear of refined sugar, and use raw dairy sparingly.)

The Weight That Was Lifted

I pray that you, or your loved one, will be guided to the people who can help.

In college, I realized that anyone who even slightly resembled my former stepfather instantly became an enemy in my mind. It troubled me deeply — how much I hated one particular man, a complete stranger, simply because he looked so much like him. When I recognized the sheer intensity of that anger, and understood what it was capable of, I knew I needed counseling.

My counselor’s first piece of advice was to read the New Testament with fresh eyes, focused on understanding the Atonement of Christ. It took time. But eventually I humbled myself enough, and found enough faith, to pray: “Father, I don’t fully understand how this all works, but I have enough faith to believe that somehow Jesus Christ truly did pay for all of the sorrow and pain that others have caused me.” I talked to my Father in Heaven about the burden of hate and anger I’d been carrying, told Him I didn’t want to carry it anymore, and asked for help in Jesus’ name.

I will never forget the moment the weight lifted — as though someone had slipped a heavy backpack off my shoulders. I was astonished, and so deeply grateful. Once that tear was healed, my relationships began to heal too. It was because of that very experience that I chose to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — I wanted others to know the same joy, to come to know the power of the Atonement the way I had.

Doubt not… fear not… I am with you.

I will make weak things become strong.

Knock, and it shall be opened; seek, and ye shall find; ask, and ye shall receive.

You are His child. He loves you. He wants you to know joy, and happiness, and peace. “Men are that they might have joy.”

Lyme was the one thing I never felt confident helping others overcome. Now it’s my turn to lean on the Lord — to heal, and to find the strength, once again, to turn my “mess” into my “message.” Never, ever give up searching for answers — and please pray to be humble enough to recognize them when they come. I truly hope something in this little shack is a help to you.

I share my own story here as one person’s experience — not as medical advice. Every body and every situation is different, and Lyme disease and hernias are serious matters. Please walk this road with your own trusted doctors and health professionals. 

With much love,

Steffi

Disclaimer: I’m a doTERRA Wellness Advocate; essential oils are shared for aroma, comfort, and everyday wellbeing, and these statements haven’t been evaluated by the FDA and aren’t intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.