Dear Me, Do you have the 'C' word?

If You Ever Hear the Word "Cancer"

A letter of hope, faith, and gentle, alongside-your-doctors care

If you are reading this because you just got a phone call that made the floor drop out from under you — I want you to breathe. Right now. In through your nose, slow and deep, and out again. You are still here. You are still loved. And you are not walking this road alone.

I wrote this for myself years ago, and I've prayed over it many times since. It is not medical advice, and it is not a treatment plan. It's a letter of hope — and a gathering of the gentle, supportive things I've watched people lean on to feel stronger, calmer, and more cared for while they walk through their treatment with a trusted medical team. Every single thing on this page is meant to come alongside the care your doctors give you, never in place of it. That one distinction matters more than anything else I could say.

First, the heart of it

Do not panic — and let hope do its work

Fear is loud in those first days. But you get to choose what you surround yourself with. Choose people who love you. Choose thoughts that lift you. There's a reason cancer centers now build whole programs around calming the mind, easing distress, and protecting sleep — because how we feel through treatment truly matters to how we endure it. Hope is not a naive thing. Hope is fuel.

Get down on your knees

Align your will with your Father in Heaven's. Pray for peace when the fear rises, for wisdom as you make decisions, and for angels to strengthen you when you feel you cannot take another step. He is the Master Healer of body, mind, spirit, and soul, and He walks with the people who work in those hospitals, too. Perhaps He wants to make your mess your message.

Build a team of true experts — and get more than one opinion

You would not enter an arena against a wild beast without the very best trained people at your side. So gather them. Get a second and a third opinion from board-certified oncologists. Ask every question. Bring someone with you to take notes. A good team wants you to understand your options — and the more you understand, the more peace you'll feel about the path you choose.

Trust your intuition — and use it to lean in, not to turn away

You will feel, deep down, what is right for you and your family. Let that intuition make you a fierce, engaged partner in your own care: the kind of person who researches, asks hard questions, and advocates for herself in every appointment. Bring your faith and your instincts into the room with your doctors, not away from it.

Gentle things people lean on alongside their treatment

Here is the part you asked me to gather — the supportive practices I've seen people use to feel more like themselves while they're in the thick of it. What makes this list trustworthy is that most of these are the very same approaches now recommended by integrative oncology guidelines developed jointly by the Society for Integrative Oncology and the American Society of Clinical Oncology — the largest oncology organization in the world. These aren't fringe ideas. They're the bridge between natural, whole-person care and the medical treatment saving your life.

For the bone-deep tiredness (fatigue)

Gentle, regular movement. Walking, gentle yoga, tai chi, or qigong — whatever your body can tolerate that day. Movement is one of the most strongly supported ways to ease treatment fatigue. (Yes, this is where a gentle bounce on a rebounder can fit, if your team says your counts and energy allow it — nothing aggressive, just gentle circulation and a little joy.)

Mindfulness and breathing practices. Guided meditation, prayerful stillness, and slow breathwork are shown to genuinely reduce fatigue and steady the mind.

For nausea and an unsettled stomach

• Ginger (tea, or with your team's okay, capsules) has real supportive evidence for treatment-related nausea.
• Acupuncture and acupressure are recommended in the guidelines for chemotherapy-related nausea and vomiting — ask your center if they have a practitioner.

For pain and neuropathy

• Acupuncture and massage therapy both carry guideline support for easing cancer-related pain, achy joints, and the tingling of peripheral neuropathy — and they simply feel good, which matters too.
• For anxiety, low mood, and sleepless nights
• Mindfulness-based programs, meditation, and prayer.
• Music therapy and art therapy — simple, human, and soothing.
• Counseling and support groups. Please don't carry the weight alone; a good therapist or a room full of people who understand can be a lifeline.

For comfort, calm, and a little courage — aromatherapy

Of all the gentle things on this list, this is the one closest to my heart. Our sense of smell runs straight to the limbic system — the emotional center of the brain — which is why a single breath of the right aroma can shift a whole moment. This is one reason major cancer centers like Memorial Sloan Kettering now offer aromatherapy to help patients feel less anxious, rest better, and steady a queasy stomach during treatment. Not as a cure — as comfort. As a way to feel more like yourself in a hard hour.

A few of the ways people reach for their oils in this season:

• To settle and soften a tense moment. A drop of a calming oil like lavender on a tissue, a cotton ball, or in a diffuser can ease anxiety and help you drift toward sleep. Roman chamomile and bergamot are gentle companions here too.
• For a bright little pick-me-up. When the fatigue sits heavy, the fresh lift of a citrus oil — wild orange, lemon, bergamot — or a whisper of peppermint can invigorate you and lighten the mood, like opening a window on a gray day.
• For queasiness. Many people find that inhaling ginger, peppermint, or spearmint takes the edge off nausea and brings a bit of comfort — a slow, deep breath just below the nose.
• For a warm, comforting spiritual blanket. This is where frankincense lives for me. Grounding, ancient, and quieting to the spirit — it can feel like being wrapped in something safe and holy when fear is loud. One of the gifts carried to the Christ child, and still a comfort to weary hearts today.
• If essential oils are part of how you find peace, one of the kindest things you can do is build a care team that understands them — look for an integrative or naturopathic practitioner who knows the chemistry of oils and works in step with oncology, so your oils can complement your treatment plan safely rather than working at cross-purposes with it. And of course, use oils you trust to be genuinely pure; when you're this tender, quality matters.

Using oils gently during treatment

• Favor inhaling over the skin. Diffusing or a drop on a tissue is the gentlest route. Chemo and radiation can make skin far more sensitive, so dilute well if you apply anything, and never apply oils to skin in a radiation-treatment area without your team's okay.
• Be considerate of shared spaces. Infusion rooms are close quarters, and a scent that comforts you may bother a neighbor with nausea — a personal inhaler tube is perfect for this.
• A note for hormone-sensitive cancers. A few oils (lavender and tea tree among them) have shown mild hormone-like effects, so if your cancer is hormone-sensitive, clear your choices with your team first.
• Keep oils in the comfort role. Aromatherapy is for peace, rest, mood, and easing side effects — not for treating the cancer itself. That honest boundary is what keeps it safe and truly helpful.

For staying strong and nourished

• Eat to stay strong. This is the season to nourish, not to restrict or "detox." Treatment is demanding, and keeping your weight, protein, and strength up helps you tolerate it. Whole, colorful, real food you love — and enough of it.
• Ask for an oncology dietitian. Most cancer centers have one, and they'll tailor food to your treatment, your appetite, and your side effects. This is where your love of good nutrition becomes a real gift — pointed in the right direction.

Rest, sunshine, fresh air, and deep breathing. A few gentle minutes of morning light, an open window, slow breaths. Small comforts that let your body do its healing work.

Please read this part twice — it's how we keep everyone safe

Tell your oncology team about every supplement, herb, tea, and essential oil you're considering — before you start it. This isn't a formality. Some natural things that are wonderful in ordinary life can be genuinely harmful during treatment:

• High-dose antioxidant supplements (like vitamins C and E or CoQ10) may actually interfere with how chemotherapy and radiation work — because many of those treatments rely on oxidative stress to kill cancer cells. Antioxidant-rich foods are generally fine; concentrated supplements are the concern.
• Some herbs (St. John's wort is a classic example) change how your body processes chemo, making it either too weak or too toxic.
• Certain supplements thin the blood and raise bleeding risk around surgery or when counts are low.
• Your team can check your specific medications against anything you want to try. That's not them being closed-minded — that's them keeping you alive. Bring your list; make it a conversation.

Tend to your spirit

Release the anger. Forgive where you can, and ask for help forgiving where you can't. Let go of worrying what others will think of the choices you make with your doctors. Rid your home and your days of what feels toxic — harsh chemicals, draining relationships, noise — and fill the space with what is safe, warm, and peaceful. Anoint with oil if it brings you closer to the Lord. Sing. Pray. Be still.

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper

and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

— 3 John 1:2

Whatever this road holds, you are held. Fight with everything you have — and let the doctors, the nurses, the researchers, your family, your ministry, and your God all fight with you. That's not less faith. That's faith with its sleeves rolled up.

Sending you love and prayers.

May God lead you to the answers that are right for you.

— With love, Steffi

A loving disclaimer: I am an herbalist, wellness advocate and health educator, not a physician, and nothing on this page is medical advice, diagnosis, or a treatment plan. Cancer is serious, and decisions about it belong to you and your qualified medical team. The supportive practices here are meant to complement conventional treatment, not replace it, and are not a cure for any disease. Please talk with your doctors before starting any supplement, herb, essential oil, or new practice during treatment.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Essential oils and other products mentioned are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.