OK Dad let me teach you what to eat!

Okay, Dad — Let Me Show You How to Eat

A love letter and a real-food kitchen makeover — the way I’d have loved my father through good food, if I’d had the chance.

In my last post, I promised I’d write down the advice I’d give my dad if I could. So here it is — imagine the two of us in his kitchen together, my sleeves rolled up, him teasing me the whole way through.

Let me say one thing clearly first. My dad carried a heavy illness, and I know now that food alone was never going to be the whole answer to something that big. Nourishing his body would have been just one of the many ways I’d have wrapped him in love — right alongside good doctors, good medicine, and every other kind of care. But oh, how I would have loved to cook for him. So come with me into his kitchen.

I can just picture him now: “What do you think you’re doing? Get out of my pantry and let me eat whatever I want!” — grinning the whole time, secretly loving every second of the attention. And we’d laugh our way through the entire kitchen.

De-junking the pantry

“Okay, Dad…I’m in the pantry. I’m sorry. There’s almost nothing in here I want you eating.” Out would go the highly processed, packaged grains and cereals, the quick boxed meals, the soda, the thickeners and seasoning packets. The canned food we’d carry downstairs — keep it for a true emergency, but it’s not what’s going to help you feel alive again.

“Don’t worry, Dad — later I’ll show you a better way to put food up for winter, using fermentation. Just trust me on this one.”

The fridge & freezer

Next, the conventional milk, cheese, yogurt, butter, and factory meat. Here’s the short of why: most grocery-store dairy and meat come from animals raised in crowded conditions, fed things they weren’t designed to eat, and given hormones and antibiotics — and the milk is then processed in ways that strip much of its living goodness. If Dad protested, I’d sit him down with Food, Inc. or the book The Untold Story of Milk and let him decide for himself.

What we buy instead is clean, raw dairy from a source we know and have visited ourselves — I trust Redmond Heritage Farms. And even then, dairy is only a small part of our diet. We make our own yogurt, butter, buttermilk, and kefir from the raw milk. It’s easier than it sounds.

A gentle word on raw dairy: this is a personal choice we make carefully, from a source we trust. Raw milk isn’t legal to sell everywhere, and it isn’t right for everyone — especially expecting mamas, little ones, and anyone with a fragile immune system. If it’s new to you, look closely at your source and check with your care provider. Good pasteurized, cultured dairy is a lovely option too.

Meats & fish

I’d bring Dad meat from animals raised on pasture, the way God intended — free-range turkey, chicken, and grass-fed beef, eaten in modest amounts and with real gratitude. No pork for us; that’s simply a choice I feel strongly about for our family. For fish, I choose wild-caught over farmed when I can — salmon, halibut, and the like from clean waters — and shellfish and bottom-feeders like crab, shrimp, and lobster stay a rare once-or-twice-a-year treat around here.

The salt swap

All that iodized table salt? I’d reach for Redmond Real Salt instead — yes, it looks like it has a little dirt in it, but that’s the trace minerals I love.

One honest caution: iodine is genuinely essential — especially for expecting mamas and growing children — and most sea salts contain very little of it. So if you move away from iodized salt, please make sure you’re getting iodine from somewhere: sea vegetables, fish, eggs, dairy, or a good supplement. And never change any medication — thyroid or otherwise — without your doctor walking it through with you.

Real sweeteners

That big bag of white sugar has to go — and Dad, this stuff labeled “maple syrup” and “honey”? Read the label. Real maple syrup should say pure (I love the darker, richer grades), and honey isn’t truly honey if the bees were fed sugar. Look at the real honey I brought you — it doesn’t even resemble the other, and the taste is incredible. I’ve got you pure maple syrup (from the Amish), pure molasses, real honey, and even some honeycomb from our neighbors in the country. (The kids adore chewing it — and it’s my little rescue when the holiday goodies start calling.) All of it, of course, enjoyed sparingly.

Eggs & condiments

Eggs from a local farmer’s free-range chickens — I love Redmond Heritage Farms. Look for those deep orange yolks; that color tells you about their quality. 

Then a few good condiments from Real Foods Market:

Naturally gluten-free mustard

Fruit-sweetened ketchup

Organic lemon and lime juice

Organic butter (for when we haven’t made our own)

How we make butter: my husband skims the cream off the top of the raw milk and runs it in our Vitamix on low. After a bit, little butter balls gather at the top; we pour off the buttermilk (we like drinking that lighter milk too), work in a little sea salt, and store it in a French butter crock — which keeps it spreadable right on the counter. Just refresh the water in the crock every couple of days.

Ferments Dad already loves

Good news for a pickle man — we just upgrade the brand. I love Bubbies for pickles, sauerkraut, and relish (keep them refrigerated).

Vegetables (budget-friendly & organic)

Carrots

Celery

Spinach & chard

Red cabbage

Green cabbage

Onions

— ♥ —

And then…let’s grow a garden

More than anything, I’d want Dad to grow as much of his own food as his time and space allowed. Here’s the garden I’d dream up with him:

Vegetables:

Tomatoes (plum, cherry, Roma)

Peas

Squash

String beans

Peppers & jalapeños

Cucumbers

Potatoes (red, white, golden)

Tip: corn, beans, and squash planted together (the “three sisters”) help one another grow.

Herbs: garlic, dill, thyme, oregano, basil, chives.

Fruit trees: apple, pear, cherry, apricot, plum. Bushes & vines: raspberry, grapes. More fruit: melons (cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelon) and strawberries. Nut trees: a walnut tree — and go pine-nut hunting in season; it’s such fun. Whatever we couldn’t grow, we’d buy in season from the farmers market.

Making this list, I thought of my mom’s garden. She was a single mom who worked full-time year-round, and still kept at least a quarter-acre growing — plus chickens and a pig. My stepdad introduced us to okra (which I loved battered and fried), to honeycomb from our own bees, and to raising rabbits. I don’t know how she did it all, but those rows are some of my dearest memories.

Stocking the pantry with real staples

Seeds:

Sunflower (soak, then dry with sea salt for snacking)

Flax (wonderful for making crackers)

Chia (soak in water, then add a little sweetener, berries, and cream — mmm)

Sesame

Nuts (small packages, so they don’t go rancid): almonds, cashews, walnuts, pine nuts, and pistachios as a now-and-then treat.

Worth doing: soak nuts and grains before using — a day in salted water, then drain and dehydrate before storing. It’s a traditional trick that makes them gentler to digest.

Legumes: lentils and all the beans — red, black, pinto, kidney, garbanzo, navy.

Grains: quinoa, millet, amaranth, basmati and wild rice blends (never the boxed mixes with added seasoning), and — for us celiacs — oats only from a certified gluten-free source.

Celiac, hear me on this: no wheat, barley, or rye — and no regular oats. Only oats specifically labeled certified gluten-free. I once got seriously sick for a long time from oats that were cross-contaminated with wheat, so please, read every label, every time.

The finishing touches

Spices: give away any “spice” blends with fillers or extras added — we want just the spice. Use up what you have, then buy organic.

Vinegars: move the white vinegar to the cleaning closet (great for windows, not for food). Cook with balsamic and Bragg apple cider vinegar.

Soy sauce: we use Bragg Liquid Aminos instead.

Jerky: we make our own.

Ice cream: blend raw milk, organic fruit, and a little maple syrup.

Oils: coconut, olive, flaxseed, and grapeseed (plus a bit of Udo’s Oil in our morning shakes).

Lunch meat: Applegate makes gluten-free sliced meats.

Drinks: plenty of fruits and veggies on hand to juice our own — sparingly.

And I’d hand him one book to start: Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon.

— ♥ —

Then Dad and I would stand back and take in his kitchen — beautiful, organized, brimming with real food — and probably laugh about the whole grand production. Yes, he’d have to relearn how to cook. But the energy that real food gives back would hand him far more time and life than it ever cost him at the stove.

One last, gentle word — because someone reading this may be carrying what my dad carried. Good food is a real and loving way to care for a body, but it is never the whole answer to a heavy illness like depression. If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out for every kind of help — a doctor, a trusted loved one, your bishop. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 any hour, day or night, to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You are so deeply loved, and so needed here.

Dad, I’d have loved nothing more than to cook for you. My thoughts are with all of you reading this.

With love,

Steffanie