Monday, May 2, 2016

You Are Only Defeated...

As I was working out with Ron, I started trying mental games to be able to lift the heavier weight. At one point, I shared my tactic by saying out loud "this is easy, I haven't lifted any weight at all - I can do this!" I tried to wipe my mind of any past reps and tried to visualize lifting the 5th set as if I hadn't lifted any before. 

After feeling super proud of my accomplishment, coach Ron, shook his head. I was surprised and listened intently as he corrected me. 

"You have to relate exercise to REAL LIFE! It IS hard. You have already lifted 4 sets to your max, but you know what? You still have more in you! Tell yourself it IS HARD! It IS PAINFUL, but YOU still have more to give." I watched him take the weight to the max on the machine. He said "I should not be able to lift this weight. I have already maxed out. When you get to this point there are three sources of power. Yourself, your rechargeable self, or God as the ultimate source of power." 

I watched him as he said "I can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS ME." He lifted the tremendous weight 12 times. The intensity was incredible. I teared up. That is a true champion - one who relies on the true source of power. One who does not lie to themselves about how hard life can be at times, but who faces it head on, is truthful about how painful it is, and taps into the ultimate source of power to accomplish the task at hand. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." heart emoti

Note: On another exercise, shown above, I tried to push myself with heavier weight.  Ron taught me that in the case of exercises that require a tremendous amount of balance (without the machine to balance things out) more weight does not equal greater strength. In some cases, less weight coupled with maintaining balance at the core, creates greater strength. 

The first time Ron taught me about the 3 sources of power, was after a major fall I had regarding my diet plan. 

I sat down with Ron and asked him what it would take to lose the maximum amount of weight the last month of the competition. I wanted to give the last 30 days everything I had and more! I was told exactly what to eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and for two meals in-between.  For 21 days I did not cheat once!  I resisted marshmallows when we went camping, I resisted the hobo dinners, the cakes at birthday parties, the goodies, any ice cream or by day I triumphed!  It felt so good!

I was so incredibly motivated and had my eyes set on my goal!!!

I was so confident in my weight release goals that I sold most of my clothes because they were fitting too loosely on me.  I had released weight and gained a ton of muscle and so my shirts were hanging off of me.  I sold all of my 'fat' clothes...

and then BAM!

I lost it!

I spiraled out of control and ate unhealthy over and over and over. 

The monday following my epic fail, instead of working out that day, we spent two hours talking.  Here are some things I learned from our conversation...

I told Ron that I felt so much shame surrounding what had happened.  I wanted to hide in a hole. 

Ron asked me to lookup and read Hebrews 12:1-2 

12 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Despising the shame. Christ atoned for the shame that keeps us feeling like we have 'failure' set on repeat. 

"Fear comes when you feel alone.  You have a team.  Have a Plan."

He shared the Batterie metaphor...

3 sources of power...

1) Batterie: Once a batterie runs out of power it is thrown away. (Represents a person that doesn't have much will power - looses charge.  "Salt loses its savor")

2) Rechargeable Batterie:  Batterie that can be recharged but over time it loses ability to take a charge.  (Someone with great deal of will power, gets oppressed but has ability to bounce back.  Over time, will power, running out of energy, they begin to say "I'm not the same person I use to be". they keep charging but over time they become less and less able to 'hold the charge' and they loose their charge. 

3) Power Plant:  A person plugs into God who is the unlimited source of power.  I live by the faith of the Son of God.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." No recharge.  I am always charged because I am plugged into His power.  I am not wondering or wandering.  I am settled because i'm plugged into the source and His endless resources.

Ron looked me in the eyes and said "You're only a FAILURE and you are only DEFEATED, THE LAST TIME YOU TRY!"

I was told to create my cocoon of safety while I transform and to not let anything bust through that.

Ron stood behind a wall that was in front of me.  When he stepped away from the wall I could see him.  When he stepped behind the wall I could not see him.  He told me that I needed to stand behind Christ.  Anything that would come at me would need to go through Christ first.  

We also spoke of Eagles.

Eagles fly straight into the eye of the storm and then fly above it. 

My protective layer of fat is not protecting me.  Only God is the true source of power and protection.

You are only defeated, the last time you try!

Here's to making another attempt at releasing the 'weight'.  

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

With much love, 


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